How to Save a Relationship

Naturally, human beings always try to make everything perfect, but it’s also a fact that they sometimes fail in this endeavour no matter how hard they try. As human beings, we are complex creatures with a huge fountain of desires and emotions. This huge treasury of emotions and desires propel us toward the future. And these emotions sometimes pull us away from the person we love most and lead us toward a void that is difficult to heal and endure. Here you need coaching from to keep your relationship strongly bound.

The trial of a struggling relationship is a hard one to negotiate. Sometimes the relationships get complicated even when the partners are still in love with each other as there are such problems that are making it difficult to get along with your partner. And you are just looking for ways to save the relationship from dying. Sometimes a breakup hurts more when you want to remain with someone but the circumstances lead you towards a breakup. And reasons would be many from personality clashes to conflicting ideas and expectations.

It’s Important to Know When to Save a Relationship and When to Let it Go

Not all relationships are indeed meant to be saved, although optimism always gets a gold star. Before figuring out how you’ll keep your relationship, it’s essential to consider whether your relationship is worth saving or if you and your partner should let go of each other from your relationship. There are a few components that should be considered when making a decision about your relationship and unfortunately, love isn’t one of them. “Love is obviously important, but it is not enough,” says relationship coach Laurel House.

If love is not important then on what basis your relationship must stand? 

The answer is the HEALTH of the relationship. “If you ever feel physically or psychologically threatened, these are red flags that you should not ignore,” says well-known adviser Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, co-author of Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love that Lasts. “Leaving the relationship is vital to your safety and well-being, and that of your kids if you have any, in these situations.”

Secondly, make sure that your partner supports your needs and core values. As Pawelski says, “If you feel that you are compromising your core values and morals, this is another reason why leaving the relationship rather than trying to fix things might be a better choice for your overall health and happiness.” 

And, last but not least, both partners should be inclined to save the relationship. If one of both partners has already decided about a breakup and does not wish to proceed in a relationship, then it’s better to end things.

Some Ways to Save a Relationship

Figure Out What The Actual Issues Are

Both partners need to do their inner work to save and strengthen a relationship. The first step would be to figure out what the real issues are. Why do you think you are headed toward a breakup? While thinking about the actual issues causing the problems, ensure that you are unbiased and fair.

Once you figure out your issues, you need to get into action immediately. Don’t wait for the other to proceed first, be the first to resolve issues to save your relationship.

Fight Better

Although it seems absurd to fight if you’re trying to strengthen your relationship, House says quarrelling and arguing with each other can be an excellently good thing to do. The key, she warns, is to do it the right way. It will look like communication in an open, honest way that brings you closer together versus criticising and blaming each other, which will only widen the gap between you.

Be Grateful

Gratitude is a must. So, it’s important to express gratification for little things your partner does. Be thankful for those small gestures like clearing the trash, making tea or coffee, and doing many other little chores. And not just once, but on a daily basis. House suggests practising it as a nightly ritual and says thank you for everything or favour you each did that day. This will change so much in a relationship.

Savour Your Time Together

Another strategy that can help you save a relationship is to acknowledge and savour the time you spent with your partner. Don’t take this time for granted. And savouring the time includes not just big moments like social gatherings, vacations, and birthday parties but all the little things like watching TV together and making dinner at home, etc. 

But one thing should be kept in mind: spend quality time together. If spending too much time is damaging your relationship then spend time less. Make sure this time is spent doing what both of you love. Sometimes a heart-to-heart conversation can do wonders as well.

Do Monthly Check-ins

Regular check-ins can be helpful as relationships require maintenance. You can achieve this by sitting down for an honest and calm conversation and talking about all the aspects of your relationship like affection, intimacy, communication, parenting, finances, etc. To do this, House says, “By addressing potential problems early on, you can fix them before they break you and simultaneously expand and deepen your true emotional intimacy and connection.”

Patience Is The Key

When you make up your mind to save your relationship, take patience as the key to success in this attempt. Don’t look over things with anger. Don’t frustrate and make haste. You just need to be patient and heartful towards each other’s problems and anxieties. Therefore, to make fruitful efforts, you have to start with patience and must understand each other as it is not an easy way to go

Stop the Blame Game and Hold Yourself Responsible

Usually, when relationships are on the brink of a breakup, the partners are blaming each other. Stop this blame game if you want to save your relationship, otherwise blaming each other further widens the gap between you and your partner. 

If you blame your partner for everything, it will cause harm to your relationship. To strengthen your bond, you need to hold yourself responsible for things, You need to understand that you might make mistakes. In this way, you can share the responsibility and will be able to fix the problems.

Give Each Other Space

Sometimes you need to spend a lot of time with your partner to make your relationship stronger. But at times, you need to give each other space so that in absence of each other, you miss the presence of each other and determine each other’s value, it will make your desire more for each other. You need to understand that sometimes your partner is just a little space. Don’t take it as a matter of ego. 

Sharing and Understanding Thoughts and Feelings

When you get together to spend quality time with your partner, spare some time to share  how you feel about each other. The sharing of thoughts and feelings help you to understand and nourish your relationship. When your partner shares her thoughts and feelings with you, support him. Even if it doesn’t make sense to you, try to understand others’ points of view. Every person has his ideas and set of beliefs, so listen, understand and accept each other’s situation and outlook toward life.

Believe In Your Partner and Don’t Be Judgmental

One person cannot save a relationship; you need teamwork to strengthen and save your relationship, And for this, you need to trust each other. Only one person can’t make the difference as the relationship is a bond between two persons having their desires and feelings. Therefore, partners need to work consciously towards developing a healthier relationship. 

Even though circumstances are not pleasant but when your partner says that he/she also wants to save the relationship, believe them. Both of you can only work towards a better relationship if you are willing to give each other a chance knowing that both of you want to make this relationship work. When you converse with each other and talk about issues, have an open-minded approach and don’t be judgemental. Otherwise, it will cause harm to your relationship.

Stop Over-Thinking

If you are in a relationship that you want to save but there are too many issues, there is a big chance that you are thinking too much about the issues all the time. It will lead to distress and you will make situations and scenarios that don’t exist. Therefore, try not to think all the time about it. It is said the more you think about the problem, the more it will seem bigger. Just distract yourself instead of focusing too much on the relationship. Distract yourself by spending time doing those things that will bring you happiness. When you start overthinking, you start to expect more and when these expectations don’t come true, it will lead to fights between the couples. To save your relationship, lower your expectations. It will make things look different.

Make Your Partner Feel Special

Even though your relationship is going through a tough phase, still your partner expects something from you. Try to do something special for your partner like plan a vacation, go shopping or dinner, etc. It will help you to refresh your relationship and strengthen it.


Relationships are very important in life. Just make sure these are healthy relationships and not harmful ones, otherwise, just break them. But wait, be a little patient, and don’t rush into breaking relationships. Reconsider your decision to break up and try to save the relationship as some breakups take a lot of time to heal. Sometimes you just need some space, and sometimes you might make a mistake and need to understand your partner’s point of view. Make sure that you have tried everything to save your relationship by giving each other quality time and space, figuring out actual issues, making every desperate attempt to resolve those issues, and sharing and understanding each other’s thoughts and feelings.

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