How to Work on Your Intimacy Issues

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Relationships of all kinds thrive on intimacy. It’s important to feel close to one another if you’re going to be able to share secrets and trust. But what do you when you’re having issues with intimacy?

It can be tough to figure out intimacy issues all on your own, and you may need to seek the help of an expert. That said, this article will offer you four helpful ways that you can work on your intimacy issues. But first, let’s start by defining what exactly we mean by “intimacy issues.” 

What Are Intimacy Issues?

Intimacy issues can range drastically, from a total fear of intimacy to feeling uncomfortable during sex or having trouble confiding in your partner.

Intimacy issues may be on the rise due to the way relationships have been changing. Thanks to technology, we’re always just a text message away. While this may result in a sense of being connected, we’re still ultimately divided by a screen (and distance) when communicating by phone.

In the age of Tinder and Covid-19, many people may feel more comfortable with superficial, casual relationships. But when it gets time for things to turn more serious, they may want to run away. Some people may even be married for years without fully knowing each other and being 100% comfortable with each other. 

4 Ways to Work On Your Intimacy Issues 

Without further ado, here are four ways that you can work on your intimacy issues. 

Spend More Quality Time Together

You can’t expect your intimacy with anyone to improve if you aren’t spending time together! Make a concerted effort to plan things together that you both enjoy. Whether it’s dinner and a movie, a road trip, a concert, or just staying in, it doesn’t really matter. 

The important thing is that you work on growing more comfortable with one another by sharing experiences together. 

Take Things Slowly

If one or both of you has a fear of intimacy or avoidance issues, it can be quite difficult to plunge headfirst into being intimate. Instead, focus on taking things nice and slowly.

For example, you could try holding hands next time you go for a walk. You could offer to give a shoulder rub (or ask for one yourself). You don’t have to turn into Casanova, and it’s probably better you don’t. By working slowly but surely on your intimacy issues, you have a much better chance of success. 

Consider the Roots of the Issue 

It’s essential to focus on the root of the problem. Has one or both of you experienced any form of abuse? Are there other aspects of your childhood and how you were raised that may explain your fear of intimacy?

Oftentimes, people who have trouble with intimacy either experienced abuse as children and/or were never shown any affection. As adults, these people may struggle to embrace intimacy.

Understanding our past can often be a good way for understanding our present circumstances, so it may be worth considering where these intimacy issues are stemming from. 

Consider a Counselor 

If you’re having trouble getting to the root of your problem (see above) or you just can’t seem to make any progress, it may be time to seek outside help. Whether that’s a trusted friend or loved one, a religious leader, or a licensed counselor, the main thing is that you start a dialogue with someone whose advice you trust.

The good news is that there’s also plenty of advice on intimacy to be found (for free) online:


Intimacy issues may be terrifying. Ultimately, however, they can be overcome. Spending quality time together, taking your time, having patience, considering the root of the issue, and seeking outside help can all make a significant difference. 

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