Sometimes in life we are wronged or feel wronged, and we take it very personally. It usually hurts the most when we are wronged by someone we are close to, or spend significant time with – this can also make getting over the hurt much more difficult; this can translate into a grudge that we hold against the person.
When we hold a grudge, our objective is to constantly remind ourselves that the person wronged us, and we hold onto anger. But although we may have a right to feel put upon, holding a grudge can be counterproductive and even detrimental to our health.
When it is a co-worker, it can also damage our work performance. So, it is best to deal with any wrongs we receive from those we have to interact with regularly in a way that is constructive.
Remember that your health comes first and it’s important to look after yourself and, in doing so, let go of anger and grudges. Stay close to loved ones, discuss issues with your family and let go of the anger. There are also lots of great health insurance plans out there which will cover you and therapy if you think this would help you let go of your grudges. It can prevent you from losing work time and falling into deeper health-related issues.
Here are some ways to let go of a workplace grudge:
Deal with Your Feelings Around the Issue
Quite often we will deny how hurt we were by this person. However, the more we deny and suppress it, the more it grates on us, causing even stronger negative emotions. The better approach is to face your feelings and acknowledge the hurt. Perhaps you can write it out and confront it.
This will allow you to take action toward removing it from your consciousness. It may be appropriate to reach out to the person in question and tell them your feelings and that you want to move past it – let them know to do this you need their help in understanding why it happened, and in getting some closure.
This approach might even offer insight that changes how you feel about the incident. You may even build a closer relationship with the person who hurt you.
If the person is not approachable for any reason, you should come to terms yourself with the incident and recognize that it is causing you anger. Allow yourself a mourning period for what happened and then agree to move on from it.
Forgiveness Frees You
You have the power on your own, without any input from the person who wronged you, to simply forgive that person. This does not mean that you need to forget what happened or even seek to be friends with the person. Forgiving is simply a way to release you from the obligation of holding a grudge, ultimately making your life better.
Don’t Internalize the Grudge
Quite often when we have something bad happen to us, we bring it up in conversation and find that many people sympathize with us. Soon we are always telling the story and become defined by it. This can lead us to becoming accustom to the attention and sympathy we gain from telling it. By internalizing the incident, we make a more difficult to let go. Fight yourself from telling the story repeatedly and focus on moving on.
Although you may have been wronged, you wrong yourself when you hold a grudge. Move on and set yourself free
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Interesting related article: “7 Effective Ways to Keep Your Employees Happy and Feeling Secure in their Job Role.”