The Long-Term Benefits of Consistent Couples Therapy

Couples therapy is a leading solution for difficulties experienced in intimate relationships. The model has helped hundreds of thousands of couples from around the world repair their relationships and rediscover the spark that initially drove them to be together. Couples therapy is a model that has proven successful both online (our online couples therapy for expats is an excellent example of this) and in-person (with couples and therapists in the same geographical location).

What is Couples Therapy?

In couples therapy, a non-judgmental 3rd-party (the therapist) helps partners overcome blocks and difficulties that stop the couple from experiencing the joys of intimacy. 

With the help of the therapist, partners are able to work through painful relational dynamics and recover an experience of relational health and vitality. 

Types of Couples Therapy

There are many couples therapy modalities. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. It is up to the couple to seek out a model of couples therapy that seems appropriate to them. Below are a handful of the leading couples therapy models and what makes them different from one another:

• Relational Life Therapy (RLT): This model emphasizes the responsibility that each partner has with regards to his or her own feelings and behaviors. Individual partners learn about their own triggers and are guided through the difficult work of reparenting themselves. As they do this, they learn to show up in their relationship with love and self-respect.
• Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT): The PACT model focuses on developing an understanding of and empathy for your partner’s triggers. As you understand your partner’s sore spots, you can 1) actively avoid doing things that trigger your partner and 2) help to soothe your partner when they are in emotional pain. In this model, you help reparent one another. 
• Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT): This model, as the name suggests, focuses primarily on emotions. Through a deeper understanding of emotions, partners are assisted in forming a secure attachment bond with one another. EFT assumes that emotional expression is at the root of lasting connection. 

Online Couples Therapy vs. In-Person Therapy

Increasingly, couples therapy is moving to an online format. The ease and convenience of online therapy is appealing to couples all over the world. Additionally, results show that the therapeutic outcomes for online and in-person therapy are remarkably similar. 

The online format allows couples to work with the therapist of their choice, even when that therapist lives hundreds – or thousands – of miles away. 

That said, some couples prefer the energetic aspect of face-to-face therapy. Such couples will want to search for local therapists that are trained in the therapeutic model (see above) the couple has identified as resonating with them. 

The Immediate Advantages of Couples Therapy

Improved Communication Skills

Many couples seek out therapy due to communication difficulties. They have had repeated experiences of not being heard, and they are growing tired of the pain that generates. The therapist plays two important roles here. 1) He helps each partner speak in a way that allows them to be heard and 2) he helps each partner learn the art of “listening to understand” and not merely “listening to respond.”

Frequently, couples report marked improvements in their communication after only a handful of sessions.

Conflict Resolution Strategies

Again, a large number of couples who seek out therapy are dealing with ongoing conflict around a handful of issues. They have tried seemingly everything they can think of to resolve these conflicts – and they still haven’t had success. 

In couples therapy, each partner is granted a safe, relaxed space to explore the conflict. The therapist helps the partners examine the difficult feelings that the conflict generates, and shows them alternative solutions that the couple hasn’t thought about before.

Quite often, these conflicts have fairly simple solutions that the couple can quickly employ. 

Enhanced Emotional Connection

Emotional connection is the product of being able to share feelings openly and honestly. In couples therapy, partners are assisted in putting their feeling material into words in a way that doesn’t activate their partner. This skill opens a doorway – rather than building a wall – to deep emotional connection. 

Long-Term Benefits of Consistent Couples Therapy

Strengthening Relationship Foundations

Although the short-term benefits of couples therapy are many, the deeper goal is to fundamentally rewire the way each partner shows up in their relationship. The therapist helps each partner become a “relationship expert.” They learn how to listen, how to share their feelings in productive ways, how to reduce their defenses, and how to remain open-hearted even when triggered. 

Couples therapy truly helps the couple create the relationship they desire and deserve. Radical relationship change IS possible – and couples therapy is the path to that transformation. 

Building Resilience as a Couple

Even perfect relationships have their moments of stress and anxiety. Relationship counseling doesn’t result in a “happily-ever-after relationship” (those are reserved for fairy tales), but it does give couples the tools to navigate relational difficulties with grace and resilience. 

It is understood that relationships are an ongoing patterning of harmony, disharmony, and repair. The more harmony, the better. But, of arguably more importance, is minimizing the intensity of the disharmony. The quicker a couple navigates states of disharmony, the quicker they can return to states of harmony. 

Preventing Future Issues

Issues that are not effectively responded to now will grow in size and strength until bigger blowups occur later down the road. By proactively identifying and addressing current (and potential) issues, couples protect themselves from future states of disharmony. 

Further, by understanding their partner on deeper levels, couples can respond to future issues quickly and effectively. Couples therapy ensures that each partner has the necessary tool-set to expertly navigate problems when they arise in the future. 

The Role of Online Couples Therapy in Today’s World

Accessibility and Convenience

The principle advantage of online therapy is the ease and convenience that it offers. Especially with couples therapy, it can be quite challenging to get three people (therapist, plus two partners) in the same place at the same time. 

Fortunately, with the online option, all three parties can be in separate locations and still have the therapy session. This allows for consistent therapy that is convenient for all participants.

Privacy and Comfort of Home

The couples we work with frequently join our sessions from the privacy of their homes. The familiar comfort of their surroundings helps them feel safe and at ease. Further, they do not have to worry about people who might know them seeing them go into the therapist’s office. 

Success Stories from Couples Therapy

Real-Life Examples

1) John and Sarah are a couple in their mid-30’s who came to therapy on the brink of divorce. They loved one another dearly, but their fights were vicious, mean, and incredibly painful. When they showed up for couples therapy, they were bordering on hopelessness. 

The therapist helped John take an honest look at his emotional volatility and intense reactivity. In time, John came to assume personal responsibility for his role in the relational distress. From there, he actively worked on holding his harmful behaviors in check. 

This opening allowed Sarah to feel safe enough to move close to John. She was able to approach him with an open heart (albeit cautiously at first), and John received her with increasing amounts of comfort and love. 

In other words, by first eliminating the harm being generated by John’s emotional volatility, the space for the closeness and connection that each partner longed for was opened up. 

The couple went on to rewire their relationship and, in a very real sense, fall in love with one another all over again. 

2) Jennifer and Diego came to couples therapy – like many couples do – because they felt that they had lost the passion that used to be there. They were beginning to feel like roommates, not lovers.

The therapist helped Jennifer reclaim her right to self-assertion and femininity. As she did this, she felt more confident and alive. This naturally resulted in an uptick in Diego’s attraction for her. 

At the same time, the therapist helped Diego see the ways in which he was withholding from his partner. Diego came to understand that there were things he was doing that were pushing her away and causing her to shut-down (even though he claimed to want the opposite). As Diego changed his behaviors, Jennifer felt safe enough to come out of her shell. 

By the end of the therapy, the deadening relationship had been replaced with the aliveness and vibrancy the couple had been desperately craving. 

Statistics and Research Findings

Studies have shown that couples therapy positively impacts 70% of couples who receive treatment. That is an incredibly high success rate. 

Further, 94% of those surveyed report that couple therapy is worth the investment, even when it comes at a relatively high price-tag at over $300/month. 

Finally, 88% of couples in couples therapy say that it’s best to start before there are serious problems, and 91% feel that people would have better relationships if they were open to couples therapy.

It is clear that couples therapy is a trusted solution to a variety of relationship difficulties. 

Conclusion

It has been reportedly proven that the benefits of couples therapy are significant and real. Couples therapy could be what saves your relationship in the short-term, and strengthens it in the long-run. The importance of building relational resilience and proactively preventing future issues cannot be understated – if, that is, you would like to have the relationship you deserve. 

Through everything from learning the art of communication, to deeply understanding your partner, to recognizing what you do that gets in the way of the relationship, to learning how to relax into love, couples therapy offers transformational tools and support.

If you are hesitant about couple therapy, that is reasonable. Even though it is likely to be just what you and your partner need, it would be understandable if you still had your doubts. To that end, I’d encourage you to schedule an intake call with a handful of couples therapists. Speak to them about their style and experience, and find the person that resonates with you. 

If you would like to explore couples therapy with our therapists at The Other Therapy, you may schedule a free, no-commitment-necessary intake call from this page: https://www.theothertherapy.com